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3 points in a hectic 3-2 win

Due to loads of players prioritizing a beach holiday, slow horses and fast women over their duties for the Bangkok Vikings, the squad was full of debuts and one player taking up his boots out of retirement.

 Starting XI

The Vikings showed up with nothing less than 3 debutants; Davide, Lasse and Miika all had their first game on Saturday and some will be faster in forgetting them than others.

The Phillip Lahm of amateur football, Michael, was also lured out of retirement as he got his comeback after a few broken ribs a year ago.

A big concern for Coach Nate was the lack of players for more than 10 games in a notoriously difficult casual league in Bangkok. The league is known for its high level and hard tackles. Only Pattaya Christian, Bert Backhair, Conchita, Lamborghini, Coach Nate, Ice, “I refuse to defend”-Scholle, Fake Phillip Lahm and Tim Tuna could brag about being in more than 10 games for the Bangkok Vikings.

Adding to the headache was the fact that his Spanish goalkeeper Bruno had spent all of his money on unsellable Spanish red wine and  couldn’t afford a flight ticket back. After last week’s piss poor goalkeeping performance, VB Kristan was left out of the squad, which meant that it was now up to Pattaya Christian and Miika to show their skills in the goal. More about that later.

In defense the Lamborghini was once again first choice for the right back, concluding that he has still started in all the games in 2021. This should close all discussion going on in the team about who’s the first choice on this position(!).

Next to him was Matteo and Bert, with Miika starting on the left. Coach Nate had once again chosen to start himself at his favorite spot on the left wing, with Marcus and Davide on the central midfield and Ice on the right. No surprise that Scholle was at the top with tank center forward Cong.

First half

The first half is rather blurry for the writer of this article, as the writer had very little air compared to the needs of chasing down Inters number 11, but here goes:

Minutes 0: Fuck, I remember that guy I’m playing directly against. He’s fucking fast. Okay, stay calm, it’s gonna be fine. You’re wearing your Apple smart watch so you are in good shape.

Minute 5: Shit. Stop running dude! Fifth sprint already.

Minute 6: FUCK FUCK FUCK. Bert is not coming out and I have no chance to catch. Phew, good thing he missed.

Minute 11: Is it possible to bleed inside your lungs?

Minute 15: I promise I will quit smoking.

Minute 16: Fuck it. I will kick him down every time I have the chance.

Minute 17: Haha, ref should have given me a Yellow.

Minute 19: Hahah, really, I’m not getting a Yellow for that?

Minute 22: FUUUUUCK YES! We scored. Way to go Scholle.


Minutes 25: Thank God. Nice to get some water and a midgame cigarette.


Second half:

At half time Clean sheet-Pattaya Christian was put on the field and Miika was put on goal, which rather fast turned out to be a very poor decision by Coach Nate.

A minute or so into second half, a failed cross-in was put directly towards Miika in goal. Now, a normal person would just catch the ball, however, Miika knows that to get an exciting game going and make your match fixing work, the opponent sometimes needs a little help. 1-1. This led to Scholle yelling something in German that could probably get him in jail in at least 4 different countries in Europe.

A little later Ice was slaughtered from behind and from the front and quite reasonably awarded a penalty. Bert Back hair gave the goalkeeper no chance as he with a cheeky move sent the goal keeper right and kicked left.

It took approximately 30 seconds from the game being started until the extremely talkative striker from Inter could add the second goal to his list. This time the defense was to blame.

After that Bangkok Vikings dominated the game and especially Coach Nate who missed 5 100% chances. It took a freekick from 35 meters and mistake from the Inter goalkeeper to get another goal for the Vikings, as Davide could celebrate a debut goal.

The Vikings should have scored at least 2 or 3 goals more, but the strikers simply refused to score more goals and since Inter didn’t offer much in the end, the game ended with a 3-2 victory.

Goals: Scholle, Bert, Davide
Yellow: Pattaya Christian
Tuna of the Game: Davide